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Order Of OneSonny, an escaped convict, and his unwilling cohort Ross Conroy, stand in the way of the city’sorder-of-one crime lord – Mr. Park and his desire to possess the ultimate Talisman: The Sword of Destiny. Forged from the spear that pierced the side of Jesus on the Cross, the sword gives unspeakable power to whomever touches it. But, in trying to achieve his nefarious goal to use the sword’s power to control everything in his path, Park underestimates the tenacity of Sonny and Ross. Soon the heroic duo are challenged by all of Park’s forces, including his nephew Tommy, the killer trio known as the Three Blind Mice and the beautiful but ruthless and deadly combination of the Sirens, Dynamite and Butterfly. Sonny and Ross have one mission before their luck runs out: to get the sword to The Order for safekeeping. The fate of The Sword, and all who come in contact with it, is in their hands.

I want to start by saying that Order Of One is not really a good movie in most regards. It is however, so ridiculous and stupid, it ends up being quite fun. It has some silly and goofy characters. The fight scenes, while mostly not very good, kind of make up for the lack of solid choreography by being so dumb and crazy (sometimes including bubbles saying the name of the attack in them, ala Adam West Batman), that they are hilarious. Overall, it is a highly entertaining film, despite of, or maybe even because of its flaws. I recommend checking this out, as long as you remember not to take it at face value. If you are a fan of older low-budget action/Kung Fu films, you might have an even better appreciation for this one.

 

pandoricPandorica –  PANDORICA is set in a world that’s plunged into a new dark age where humanity devolves into a vicious, primal state. A trio of youths, Eiren, Ares and Thade, have been selected to take part in the leadership trials of The Varosha Tribe, with the winner claiming the tribe for themselves. They must battle dark and mysterious forces if one of them is to win, but not everyone is worthy of becoming a leader, and the trio soon learn that fighting each other may be the only path to victory.

Pandorica looks amazing. There are sweeping landscape shots, probably done with a drone. Scenes of the characters are also shot really well. It even has an interesting premise. Too bad it mostly fails in execution. The writing is not good. The way plot points come about, and reveals happen, feels really clumsy. For some reason every time the characters curse, they do it in “another language” and it makes no sense. Why do this? If it is to hide the swear, why subtitle it? And if that is a way to hide the swear, what is the in-story reason for them doing it?  Is that their tribe’s language? If so why don’t they just always speak it when talking to each other? The acting is mostly around the decent level. The fight and action scenes are really bad. One of the movies it compares itself to in promotional materials is Predator. The only real connection there I can see is a couple characters whose outfits look like a poorly-done cosplay of The Predator. I really don’t recommend this one, unless you are a fan of great camera work. Without that, it is just another good idea with no real substance.

 

Slasher HouseWhen Red awakens in a prison cell within an old abandoned madhouse, she has no idea how slashershe got there or why. As soon as her cell door opens she quickly discovers that she is not alone. Trapped with the world’s most notorious serial killers, she finds herself caught in a deadly game with no escape as one by one the other “inmates” are released to stalk her as their own prey. Red must now battle impossible enemies as she tries to find her freedom and soon realizes that there is a bigger plan for all this than she first realized. Will this “Final” girl have what it takes? Or will she spend her remaining days in the endless corridors of SLASHER HOUSE!

Slasher House has a mix of good and bad things about it. I like the idea of it, although similar concepts have been done, I felt like this approach at least offered something different. The characters were all different and interesting (although a serial killer clown is kind of cliché at this point), but there weren’t enough of them. They really should have had more killers running around keeping things interesting, because at times this movie dragged.  The Demon character (Voiced by Blaze Bayley) also looked really bad, and was more like a goblin or gremlin, than a demon. Overall, it was a decent watch, with some violence and good gore. I’d recommend maybe giving this one a try.

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