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We Will Schlock You is a series at The Nerds Templar where we take a look at bad B-Movies, So-Bad-They’re-Good, Over-the-Top Ridiculous, most likely to involve sharks schlock. Movies that are so bad you can’t help but enjoy them.

I remember seeing The Return of Swamp Thing as a kid. It came out in the late 1980’s before I really knew who Heather Locklear was. I probably haven’t seen it in close to 30 years and watching it now, wow is it ripe for Schloctoberfest!

If you aren’t familiar with the movie, the official synopsis is: After her mother’s mysterious death, Abigail Arcane (Heather Locklear) travels to the Florida swamps to confront her resurrected evil stepfather Dr. Anton Arcane (Louis Jourdan). In an attempt to stave off the effects of aging, Dr. Arcane, assisted by Dr. Lana Zurrell (Sarah Douglas), combines genes from various swamp animals and human beings, creating an army of monsters known as Un-Men. When Abby arrives, Dr. Arcane is hell-bent on taking his own stepdaughter’s life in the name of science… that is until she is rescued by SWAMP THING in this must-see sequel to the original cult classic and based on the award-winning DC Comics series!

If you haven’t seen the first film, there’s a flashback sequence to explain how Swamp Thing came about. I probably haven’t seen the first film in just as long and barely remember it. Obviously the movie is pretty sad by today’s standards, but that’s also what makes it enjoyable. You have to have a soft spot for pre to early CGI effects and I do! There is a scene where Swamp Thing gets hit with a grenade and he’s able to come back together. The oozy effects and green lights are laughable. As are most of the explosions. One of the other creatures he has to fight makes a trailer and a bunch of cars explode. I’m not sure why the cars exploded, but they certainly took their time going up in flames. The make up effects and practical effects of the creatures aren’t what we are used to seeing today, but it’s what I prefer actually.

Even for its day this was a B-movie. I was too young to watch TJ Hooker and Dynasty so Locklear wasn’t someone I was familiar with. She plays the classic damsel in distress that falls in love with the creature and even with a classic storyline like that, it still feels B-movie’ish. There’s a sort of love scene that’s super creepy and weird and makes the 1990’s live action Beauty & the Beast TV show look high class. It’s all very laughable.

So why am I even bringing up this movie after 30 years? Well it’s part of MVD’s Rewind Collection and has a fancy new package as it arrives on Blu-ray for the first time! It’s been remastered in a 2K format and this new release has some fantastic bonus features. Check out the list below!

The Return of Swamp Thing is schlock personified. I love seeing practical effects that we just don’t get nowadays. The acting, the story, the look of the film are all pretty bad with cliched henchmen (with no sleeves on their shirts of course) and hillbillies and young kids. If you are a fan of the movie, this is a must own collection and is worth the purchase price.

BONUS FEATURES:

  • Brand-New 2K High-Definition Transfer
  • High Definition Blu-ray (1080p) and Standard Definition (480p) DVD presentations of the main feature
  • Original 2.0 and 5.1 Stereo Audio (Uncompressed PCM on the Blu-ray)
  • NEW Audio commentary from Director Jim Wynorski, Composer Chuck Cirino and Editor Leslie Rosenthal
  • Audio commentary from Director Jim Wynorski
  • NEW Interview with Director Jim Wynorski (HD)
  • NEW Interview with Editor Leslie Rosenthal (HD)
  • NEW Interview with Composer Chuck Cirino (HD)
  • NEW Interview with Lightyear Entertainment Executive Arnie Holland (HD)
  • Original Theatrical Trailer (New HD Transfer from original 35mm materials)
  • 6 Promotional TV Clips (SD)
  • 2 TV Spots (SD)
  • 2 Greenpeace Public Service Announcements (SD)
  • 1989 Promo Reel (SD)
  • Photo Gallery (accompanied by Chuck Cirino’s film’s score)
  • Collectible Mini- Poster

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