Usually I post an official synopsis, cast and crew, what we thought and all that when reviewing a movie, but it’s all irrelevant for Star Wars: The Last Jedi. What I think of the movie is also irrelevant. It is going to be the biggest movie of 2017 whether anyone likes the film or not. Critics seem to love it. One respected critic in Boston loved it so much he said it was the best Star Wars movie to date. I’m from Boston, that guy who said that isn’t me. I must have watched a different movie than him or he must not have seen any Star Wars movies before because he can’t be any further from the truth.

I honestly thought Thor: Ragnarok was going to be the biggest disappointment of the year for me. Then I saw Star Wars: The Last Jedi. The movie is at least 45 minutes too long (maybe closer to an hour) and at one point I felt myself falling asleep at the theater. All the good karma JJ Abrams brought back to the franchise after the negativity that were the prequels, Rian Johnson has lost with the latest film. Most of the film is pointless with characters and substories that do nothing for the movie. If you thought The Hobbit films were a waste, go ahead and skip the first hour 45 of this.

Let me rephrase that, the opening to the film is great. We are reintroduced to Poe Dameron (played by Oscar Isaac) and he is in an X-Wing doing what he does best, blowing crap up. There is a fantastic bombing sequence and I’m digging the flick. Yeah baby, Star Wars! Then, well then, nothing really happens for close to 2 hours. John Boyega’s Finn is shown to still be hurt like at the end of The Force Awakens. He gets out of a medical machine and at no point in the rest of the movie do they reference his injuries. We are also transported to Luke Skywalker’s island where Rey (Daisy Ridley) wants the Last Jedi to come with her and join the Rebels, excuse me Resistance. Luke wants none of it and she stays around. He’s going to train her Yoda style then right? Wrong. He gives her a few pointers, but wants the Jedis to end.

While this is happening, Poe and General Leia (the late Carrie Fisher) and what is left of the Resistance are on some ships being tracked by The First Order. They are trying to blast them out of space, but the Resistance stays just far out enough not to be blown up. Wow, what a plot! Finn meets a new character and goes with her to a casino world to find a code breaker. Every scene on this casino world is unnecessary. They climb on some camel/horse looking things and ride them to freedom because rich people are the worst! What a script!

Oh yeah, while on Luke’s island Rey can communicate with Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) and she ends up on his ship. She learns the truth about her parents which is anticlimactic. There’s a light saber fight which was actually pretty good and you think her or Driver’s character will shift into a huge dramatic turn and nope. No character development for anyone!

The last 45 minutes of the movie is good, it’s just a shame the second act is trash. If I was to ever watch this again I would just fast forward through the casino world and the Resistance ships floating in space while Hux waits for them to run out of fuel. Yep, in a Star Wars movie, the bad guy waits for the good guys to run out of fuel. Wow, what tension!

Every single time I thought the plot or a character was going to take a huge turn, nothing. Captain Phasma is as irrelevant as she was in The Force Awakens. I genuinely feel bad for Gwendoline Christie. Her checks were probably nice, but the Game of Thrones star gets nothing out of playing Phasma for 2 films. Even Finn, who should have a huge character arc, gets little in terms of development. At one point towards the end I honestly thought Finn’s character would finally mean something, but nope. Rey learns the truth about who she is and every fanboy theory is thrown out the window. Even Poe is belittled and called a hot-headed flyboy yet he’s the only character actually doing his damn job.

The whole movie also felt like a kid’s flick. The little creatures on Luke’s island were completely annoying and serve no purpose other than to get a few “awws” out of kids or adults who are dumb. The camel/horse thingies on the casino world are the same too. Finn and the female character he meets (Rose) ride them throughout the casino and land while freeing little kids who were being treated badly by the rich people. Those kids are seen later in the movie too which only serves as a possible plot to future films.

That’s another issue, the title. It’s clearly not The Last Jedi if you show me a bunch of kids and wink at the camera like, “Hey, look who’s going to be the characters in the next trilogy!”. The Star Wars movies have always been for kids, but also for adults. This felt so childish to me with unfunny jokes and creatures far worse than Jar Jar Binks. Yeah I said that!

When you see Star Wars: The Last Jedi, and the majority of you will, ask yourself just how much of what happens actually needed to happen to get from the beginning of the movie to the end. The truth is, most of the movie is filler and Rian Johnson didn’t seem to have much of a story. When I walked out of The Force Awakens I wrote an emotional review talking about how I felt like a kid again seeing a Star Wars movie that made me love Star Wars. I felt nothing watching this movie. Nothing. Any emotion I should have felt was lost in the second act waiting for characters to get off a ship or get off an island. But who cares, Disney is going to make billions on ticket sales and merchandise and audiences won’t pay attention to just how much didn’t need to be there. 2017 continues to be a disappointment at the movie theater.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s