Synopsis
For the past several years, the “Heart Eyes Killer” has wreaked havoc on Valentine’s Day by stalking and murdering romantic couples. This Valentine’s Day, no couple is safe…
What We Thought:
Heart Eyes so desperately wants to be this generation’s My Bloody Valentine, but unfortunately it’s just the latest generic slasher that I will forget exists by the end of the year. It has a good concept, but the movie falls flat with no scares and an easy to guess reveal.
The film opens by explaining that a killer known as the Heart Eyes Killer or HEK started murdering couples in Boston on Valentine’s Day. Philadelphia couples were killed a year later and now it’s Seattle’s turn. There’s a couple taking engagement photos when the killer attacks and at first I was into the flick. The opening kills were solid and I was hoping for a pleasant surprise like Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving.
Then we meet the cast members that we are supposed to root for. There’s Ally who orders a very unique drink and Jay who just so happened to order the same one! You think that random meeting at the coffee shop will go to waste? Of course not. Ally works in marketing and when her ad campaign goes horrifically wrong, Jay is there to pick up the pieces. The whole movie is a “will they/won’t they” scenario and when they look like a couple after having dinner together, they end up on the killer’s radar.
At this point in time I had pretty much checked out of the film. The engagement couple kills in the beginning weren’t the good sign of a fun film I thought they were. The movie is pretty much Ally and Jay trying to survive HEK while telling the killer they aren’t a couple. There’s a couple of decent scenes of violence and a funny Hobbs & Shaw joke, but I walked out disappointed.
The reveal is really lame too. I won’t spoil who’s under the mask, but you can see it coming. And on top of it, it doesn’t make sense. HEK has been dropping bodies in other cities on the other side of the country, the reveal doesn’t explain how that would be possible. There’s an explanation of who’s under the mask, but they don’t explain the connection to Boston or Philly. It’s like they completely forgot the killings started on the East Coast.
People seem to be enjoying Heart Eyes and I don’t know why. It’s a by-the-numbers slasher with limited gore and a lame reveal. You don’t care about any of the characters and it relies on comedy too much. It’s trying to sell itself as a Valentine’s Day date horror flick, but there are too many comedic elements in it. The one liners mixed with the potential love story gives it huge tonal shifts. Is it a slasher? A horror-comedy? A rom-com set in a horror flick? To me it’s forgettable.
Directed by:
Josh Ruben
Cast:
Olivia Holt
Mason Gooding
Gigi Zumbado
Michaela Watkins
Devon Sawa
Jordana Brewster
Written by:
Phillip Murphy and Christopher Landon & Michael Kennedy
Produced by:
Christopher Landon
Greg Gilreath
Adam Hendricks
Executive Producers:
Gary Barber
Chris Stone
Mel Turner
Phillip Murphy
Michael Kennedy
The Nerds Templar 